AKA: Long live Too Lazy To Be Evil
Creations of Dubious Utility was the shop name Slick and I came up with, many years ago – about 13 years past now, late at night in a shitty diner as we talked for hours. We felt it would appropriately encompass items we were likely to make for sale. We have decent vocabularies, are clever, creative, inventors and both lean to a mix of practical and artistic existence, in ourselves and in our creative endeavors. The name is great for us and people like us. It is not great for the masses. More often than anything else, I have to explain to people how to pronounce “dubious” and what it means. This generally saddens me, although I refuse to let something good go past just because some people are ignorant. That isn’t my point, although it is a factor.
The biggest point is that Etsy shop names can only be 20 characters long and Creations of Dubious Utility is 25 characters (without spaces, obvs). It simply won’t fit. I joined Etsy “back in the day” when your username was automatically your shop name and you had a shop, by the way. Now you can sign up for Etsy and not have a shop unless you click a button and give it a name. Thus, I technically had a shop for years, but did nothing with it. When I finally decided (last year) that I was okay with putting items in my Etsy shop on a more than seldom or occasional rotation, I pulled up our shop name idea, Creations of Dubious Utility, made a banner, a logo, got a couple stamps for packages, etc.. I did it up. After a couple weeks of casual preparation, I was ready. I went to officially change the name on my store only to discover the character limit. Dammit. I’ve left it this way since, but now that I’ve sold a couple items, the big, actual problem has come up. Creations of Dubious Utility is not my actual shop name, but it is the one I “advertise”. When a sweetie who bought one of my shag bag zipper pouches was asked her where she got it, she told them my shop name – which the asker could not then find, because it does not exist. Fatal flaw, game over, customer lost. Well in this case, not lost because said sweetie knew my username and told the asker that and the asker did find me that way, so fatal flaw avoided, but through no creditable action of my own. I mean, short of having a username that is fairly easy to remember and I am consistent with it. Or as often as I can be with two username-Doppelgängers occasionally competing with me on platforms, but you see my point.
I thought for a while I’d change it to something shorter, something equally catchy. Maybe something that still kept most of the original Creations of Dubious Utility so I wouldn’t need to change my logo or stamps. Or, maybe simply something new, short and snazzy. I have a couple pages of possibilities I considered. Eventually I came around to trying to get my standard username into the title, since that is (as proven by the anecdote above) effective, in spite of my misstep. That brought up a problem for me – I try to keep my personal blog and personal username, well, personal. I am Sarcastra, online. I don’t mix the blog with other things, although I will mention other things on my blog, which some people (who are dummies) cannot seem to understand. If I mention on the blog that anyone who shows up at the bar tonight will get a free drink from me, and I’ve also sent this in an email to some friends, some people will show up at the bar, complaining that I’m only buying drinks for people to get them to look at my blog. I cannot express how much this pisses me off. It’s like a hot coal in my metaphorical stomach.
I wanted to keep my Etsy store and profile separate from my personal profile. Except, the problem with that is I don’t want to be an Etsy seller profile. I don’t want to do the fake-social, online-traffic-seeking, always-smiling, never-offensive, stylishly fresh photography of shop items persona. I want to be my Sarcastra that I am naturally online. Sure, I’m going to offend people sometimes, but that doesn’t mean much to me anymore. I mean, have you met people? They suck. Why waste concern for them? Until, of course, they’ve got torches and have ganged up at your door. Then it’s a problem. After that, there is the GLARING fact that I (and all that I make and do) appeal to a very small sliver of population. Appreciation for my expressions of my existence is an exclusive, niche market, let’s call it. I don’t care about that much anymore either. Same with the aforementioned torch gang (or cyber trolls, same thing), sure, but my biggest reasons for the separation were privacy, caution, and acknowledgement of the separation of expectations – and I don’t feel those things are important to me in this matter, at least not enough to keep up the duplicate efforts.
So, now that I’ve explained this all way more than anyone else actually cares about (except me, and this whole blog is for me!) we have this:
tl;dr: I’m changing my Etsy shop name to Too Lazy To Be Evil instead of Creations of Dubious Utility.
Etsy shop banner.
The devil heart logo will become my shop logo, too. I already have stamps, and my website, I’ll point Creations of Dubious Utility at Too Lazy To Be Evil to redirect the one or two people EVER who might find their way there. I’ll be doing a relaunch with some new items, maybe a sale, definitely some little freebies like stickers and cards. And that’s it. My shop name will exist now and should be easy to remember.
Also, I have to tell you now that if you show up at the bar for your free drink and Etsy coupon, and complain that I’m doing it to drive traffic to my blog, I will lose my shit with you.
“Janet, if you hand me a cactus, I swear I will lose my mind.”