Oct 272017
 

I don’t know what’s going on. My Muse is on a mini-break, maybe. I go down to the workshop and am simply indifferent to my lovely fabric and excellent sewing machines. New carving blocks seem dull. My watercolors remain dry and untouched. Freshly emulsion coated screens sit, gathering dust, waiting and becoming less efficient. Something is off, and I don’t quite know how to fix it, but I’m not to panic mode — yet.

The Good Place, Chidi.
“Okay, but what do we do, panic, freak? I usually panic, but I am happy to freak.”

Fortunately, I have a variety of projects that do not require inspiration or design thought, and can make progress even with very little motivation. I have a quilt ongoing with all color, design, and layout decisions already made and pictured in my head, so I’ve got some of that done.

Sometimes I find myself with my head laying on the sewing platform, presser foot LED reflecting off my cheek while I stare at the screen saver pics my Chromecast puts up.

I cut out some Scrappy Cat blanks and managed to get a couple bases prepped.
red violet scrappy cat base
Love those ears.

blue green bugs scrappy cat base
The bugs! Good.

But, that is the most fun part of making Scrappy Cats, so the bases sit there. I tried to do a third one, but the fabric pull was borderline depressing (for NO good reason – the fabrics are FINE!) and forcing myself to start stitching even one piece down, that I know I could cover up if I didn’t like it later, made me give up so suddenly I didn’t even turn my machine (Nome) off. More staring.

New supplies excite me, but a recent Sketchbox with cool items only produced some swatches and a doodle. Inktober is meaningless to me. There are no Lunch Hour Paintings. Poetry eludes me (although some might argue it does normally – hah). Minecraft didn’t even help.

Maybe I’ll go for a hike tomorrow. Something different. I’m not sad, depressed, nothing so easily defined. I’m healthy, happy, as well-slept as usual. Work is exciting and new – maybe my brain cells are tired? Perhaps they need a break after all the technical work? Breaks are fine. I make art for my own pleasure, so I’m not up against deadlines or anything. Not really – all projects I do are self-imposed nowadays. Maybe I’ll do what normal people do. What is that? Watch television? Shop? Play games on their cell phones? Blech – forget all that. Maybe …. shit. I just don’t know. I’ll clean and sort and wind bobbins until I do know.

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