People are weird

Things that make the phrase “people are weird” resound in your skull.

How are you?

Jan 172012

After writing up the last post, apparently the nugatory question, “how are you?” while passing in the halls was still on my mind. I was carrying a box out to the trash and two gals I’ve met said the “hi, how are you” thing to me. I responded by slowing way down and telling them that I was doing fine today, thanks for asking, then asking how they were. I swear to you they had looks of, if not alarm then at least apprehension, as they were forced to slow down to my pace and answer same question I treated as real, because I clearly expected an answer.
Yeah! Take that. Ask me a fluff question and watch me turn it into a real question! That will teach them! I’m doing this now. This is a thing. Do it.


Jul 262011

Slick and I are headed off to KY.
Stolen from the internets - is it yours? Let me know so I can credit you.
Technically, I’m taking vacation time to head out there to visit my mom and my sister and family, but I question whether I can call it a vacation or not.

So. There you go.

Filed under WTF!?!

Jan 102011
Santa and Baby Jesus!

This photo shamelessly stolen from the internets because this kind of shamelessness of content deserves nothing more.

At this point I’d go on a rant about the sheer idiocy of the thing, but I really think this photo will speak clearly to you 13 dear readers.

Stupidity reigns

Dec 032009

A truck decorated in the sayings of stupidity.

I hereby demand that all the people who keep saying shit about “in god we trust”, “there are no atheists in foxholes” and “it must be god’s will” choke and die. Or just stay far away from me, forever. Or, and this would be the funniest, blame god and Jesus when things go wrong. “Yeah, I thought I’d be getting a raise this year, but Jesus screwed me again.” “God is such dick, the economy is all his fault!” Hah.

Someone in the adjacent hotel room has at least two dogs. They had another barking fit and now I hear a simpering, high-pitched voice soothing them. None of this contributes positively to my mood.


Nov 272009

If you’re thinking of moving to Texas (Hell must be too expensive?) then I suggest this place:
Property for sale in Little Italy, Texas
No one would mistake it.
Property for sale in Little Italy, Texas
No one would pass it by on Halloween.


Sep 172009

This truck is often parked by the exit I use at DEN.
A Spiderman thing in the back of a pickup.
It certainly will surprise you as you walk past because it looks like a person sitting there, out of your peripheral view. Freaky.

May 142009

Slick and I are on the eve of leaving on a road trip. While mentally entertaining myself at work today, I was thinking of all the games people play on roadtrips. That reminded me of how I discovered one such game and I thought you guys would appreciate it. In case you are unfamiliar, the general layout of this game is that if you see a VW Bug, you punch your carmate and yell about it. There are rules and such, but that is the basis. It seems to border on irony that a car identified with hippies (peace, love) would spawn a game based on immediate violence.

Art bug, photo by neenabeena on Flikr.

While I was living in Norfolk, I met one of my new shipmates just arriving and offered to show her around Norfolk.. I’d known her about a week, but she seemed to be sane and not creepy in any disagreeable way. I drove her around to the restaraunts and shops I’d found and we had a pretty good time. After a small dinner, we headed back towards the base. We were chatting along when she suddenly punched me (hard, of course) in the arm and screamed something about slugs and bugs. I managed to keep my focus on the road and control the adrenaline, but after a second or two when I still had no idea what was going on, I responded with, “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!” at the top of my lungs. Her hesitant laughter and lame explanation of the game stopped me from kicking her out on the side of the road. A game! Okay, I can handle a game I don’t know about. Hell, I don’t know most of that stuff – you’d think I grew up in a convent! I accept my ignorance of such things. Not her fault I didn’t know, but it seems like quite an assumption from my (punchee) end.

It did not precisely put our relationship off to a solid start.

Recalling this does make me consider the simple differences that can have such a dramatic affect on relationships and interactions, of all sorts.

Mar 082009

Where’s your boot, dude?
Dude, where’s my boot?
Where’s your boot, dude?
Seriously dude, where’s my boot?

a lone boot on the sidewalk.

I would think that someone was moving a load of clothing to a vehicle and dropped a boot. Otherwise, it seems like one would notice a missing, heeled boot. Even if they were really drunk.

Once, I nearly left a sandal in Puerto Rico. It was getting late and time to head back to the ship. Everyone was scrambling about to get back into the rental car. I sat on the seat with the door open and shook my sandals free from sand one by one. As I shut the door, the driver took off, eager to get back. I realized that I had only one sandal and had set the other down while desanding. I took a second or two to consider just leaving it – after all it was only a sandal and a small price to pay for a fun-filled and adventurous day in Puerto Rico. But, we were still in the parking lot, so I spoke up, took the silly ribbing and we circled back around to get my sandal.

Now that I think of it, I should have just thrown the other one out of the window. Not because of some Ghandi bullshit, but because the sandals would probably have led a more interesting existence in Puerto Rico than with me. I don’t wear sandals that often and they saw more of the closet shelf and neighboring shoes than the outside world. That day in Puerto Rico was likely the most exciting day of their little sandal life.

Midwest Muffin

Feb 112009
An enormous chocolate muffin, iced, with sprinkles, served with butter.

Only in the midwest, current home of good-ol’, homestyle, stick-to-your-ribs (and your ass) cooking, would you get a giant muffin that looks like this one, served with butter.

Because you must have butter with muffins, even giant, frosted, sprinkled, chocolate muffins that could feed a family of four.

Be good, eat your butter.

Legal Bunnies

Dec 052008

So today, in a vain attempt to make my rapacious appetite for books hurt my budget less, I was entering items from my amazon wishlist into the local library search engine to make a new list of items I could get for free. Free for a while anyway, if I manage to return them without late fees. During this exercise in partial futility and desperation, something searched for triggered a suggestion of “The Really Useful Bunny Guide”.
The Really Useful Bunny Guide, cover art.

I was intrigued, since this had nothing to do with what I was searching for. I clicked the link to see what the library search engine thought “The Really Useful Bunny Guide” had to do with me. Would I find something interesting? Something I didn’t even realize I wanted?? Curiousity! Here are the results:
Library search results for The Really Useful Bunny Guide.

I’m not quite sure what bunnies have to do with litigation.
Or what that has to do with me – I hope it isn’t foreshadowing.

I thought I’d share this oddity with you folks.

WTF library search engine?!?

Hello there Kitty

Sep 082008

Bad shot through a car window with sunlight, but you can make out the many Hello Kitty stickers on the dashboard there.

Multiple layers of Hello Kitty stickers on a dashboard as seen at the local Barnes & Noble.

Perhaps this category shouldn’t be so much “People Are Weird” as it should be “Look At This”, but that doesn’t make for a fun category name.

Jul 312007

[Don’t worry, my sis gets it.]

Sorry for the three day break there. Friday afternoon brought us the resignation of another great guy at work. He’s leaving for lush, green fields of clover, so no one can blame him. But the rest of us must now close ranks and keep going and that required some schedule changes. I am now a daytime worker. It is strange, this daylight as I go about work. I spent the entire weekend struggling to change my wake and sleep schedule. Today, I achieved a whole five hours of sleep. That plus a macchiato have kept me functioning thus far.

I’ve got to get home and write a paper tonight and them somehow find time to read (or just skim) the 4.5 chapters I’ve not looked at for my PSYC class exam tomorrow. This summer semester is almost finished for me finally. Then in another few days the fall semester starts. I have paid the tuition (ow! stop it!!), but haven’t yet bought my books. When you hear a mournful wailing wallet in the night – it will be mine.

And what the hell is wrong with you guys!! I found ANOTHER tank two-color stencil graffiti yesterday. I haven’t gotten a single photo or even email from ANYONE!! It’s like none of you are leaving your houses with digital cameras and seeking out your rebellious artistic surroundings!! WTF.

In other news, far to the east of us, Mnemonic sends this:

Costume on the NY subway, photo courtesy of Mnemonic.

This gal went all out on her costume! Mnemonic was nervy enough to request and take this photo on the NY subway. This is great. So many details.

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